Secrets to a Great Driving Companion

For those that enjoy a robust driving experience, there is nothing more enjoyable than a competent road trip companion. They play a key role in the success or failure when traveling for pleasure. My preferred co-pilot is Marty Thomas. She has a tremendous sense of humor, a boatload of common sense and an innate understanding of driving dynamics. I suspect she got that last talent growing up in Italy as a Navy brat who's father, Adm. Julian Thomas, owned and drove Ferrari's.

The key role for a traveling companion is to assist the driver in all situations pertaining to the safety, enjoyment and most of all, excitement, a road trip should embody. Where would Clyde be without Bonnie?

For example, your co-pilot should travel light and be able to read a Google map or navigate a GPS system with ease. They should have kidneys of steel with the ability to pass rest stops without wincing. Most importantly, they must have the physiological ability to analyze and anticipate other drivers moves based on the vehicle they are driving. (i.e. minivans, Subaru's with Vermont tags, older makes with sheetmetal damage, etc.).

While my sixth sense to smell police and radar units miles away has kept us out of the clutches of the secondary road constabularies that terriorize rural America, in the event the unanticipated occurs (State Police disguised as Mustang Cobra drivers) the co-pilot must be able to feign pregnancy ("My water broke and we are on the way to the hospital."), contritness (crying on demand is a plus) or just general confusion ("Your Honor, my mother, who I haven't seen from birth is dying. She lives in a white house somewhere along this road. Will you take the time to help us find her?). Of course, you can avoid those situations entirely without speeding, but remember, I mentioned "excitement" when I described a road trip essential.

Lastly, a dedicated traveling companion must never exhibit fear! That includes such distracting mannerisms as "braking" when in the passenger seat (watch their feet when you come swiftly into a corner... always a telltale sign), screaming when passing is tight on a 2 lane road ("Go quietly unto the Lord" -isn't that in the Bible?) or listening to an Ipod with earphones ( you'll miss the exhaust note on the curve return).

I wish each of you the enjoyment I have found with Marty as a professional traveling companion. They make excellent friends for life as well.