Saturday, October 17, 2009

Top "10" Most Sinister-Looking Cars

This from the editors at Kelly Blue Book via the LA Times. Their comments as to why that particular vehicle was chosen first, and my comments follow in italics. Your comments, please.



Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution
Piercing eyes and a Darth Vader-like mouth give Mitsubishi's world-beating overachiever a visual bark commensurate with its road-shredding bite.

I agree with this choice. I always thought Mitsu chose a mean look to appeal to the target audience... boy racer, no?



Rolls-Royce Phantom
At more than 19 feet long and 5 feet tall, the Rolls-Royce Phantom is a big car. Its imposing size conspires with glaring eyes and a chrome prison-like grille to create a look that's as menacing as a runaway financial institution.

Not sure I am buying into this one. "Imposing," most definitely. "Menacing?" Maybe if the car was painted black and pulling up to a medieval castle on a moonlit evening, but dove-grey on Venture Blvd. for a noon brunch... not so much.



Cadillac CTS
With well-ordered lines, decorative flashes of chrome and eyes that sometimes seem to be looking down on you, the CTS arouses fear and respect like a high-ranking military officer.

Whaaa...? How is this menacing? The car is obviously grinning. The Camaro would have been a better pick from GM.



Ford F-150 Raptor
Maybe it's looking for a good time instead of a victim, but wide fenders, meaty tires, a flashy optional graphics package and an imposing grille that looks in search of a hide to brand make the Ford F-150 Raptor look absolutely wicked.

I'm going with this one, too. Intimidating, you bet. Just wait until my friends in the Outer Banks get thru jacking this one up.



Audi R8
With a front end resembling one big air intake, the Audi R8 can come across with the ferocity of a flying engine. Its focused gaze is rendered even more intimidating by brawn that allows it to reach 60 miles per hour in 4.4 seconds.

True, and true for the appearance of most Audi's, even the A3.



Mazda MAZDASPEED3
The MAZDA3's smile is more of a menacing grin on the high-performance MAZDASPEED3. Growling with 263 turbocharged horsepower, you can almost hear it saying, in the guttural voice of the Joker from "The Dark Knight": "Ooohhh. You want to play? Come on!"

Clown-like? Yes. As we all know, the new face for the 3 has been relentlessly ridiculed on the blog sites for months for its circus expression. But threatening? I would call it perverse, more like the grin a dirty old man opening his raincoat exhibits exposing himself to school children.



Acura TL SH-AWD
Looking into the rearview mirror, you'll notice how well the Acura TL's raptor-like Xenon High-Intensity Discharge headlights seem to illuminate the road (almost like they're zeroing in on you?).

Since when is "ugly" menacing? Come on guys, this is another "grinner!" Where's the Dodge Challenger in all this?



Infiniti FX50
Looking like a great white shark on wheels, the Infiniti FX50's daunting look comprises angled Bi-Xenon headlights, a gaping, toothy grille and gill-like side vents.

A reasonable pick. Of course, anytime you cantilever the headlights, a car looks hostile. A Mary Kay pink sedan looks ominous with slanted headlights... no?



Mitsuoka Orochi
If the mere thought of snakes makes you shiver, you might find the Mitsuoka Orochi's serpentine stare uncomfortably familiar. Named for a giant mythical Japanese eight-headed snake, the Orochi sports a mouth-like grille, reptilian-looking quad headlights and a wide, triangular-shaped front end that make it appear ready to attack.

In your dreams, perhaps. Who's ever seen one, much less bought one? The most terrifying aspect of this travesty is all the heaping chrome.



Lamborghini Reventon Roadster
The mere sight of a stealth fighter can inspire either extreme excitement or fear and loathing. For those who've come face-to-face with one in attack mode and lived to tell about it, the sight of a stealth-inspired Lamborghini Reventon racing up behind you might be a bit unsettling.

"Unsettling" to the bank account, too.

3 comments:

  1. I don't like to pick on manufacturers, but the Acura and Mazda aren't sinister looking. Goofy, yes, but menacing never!
    Brian.

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  2. Orochi looks like Jar-Jar Binks! UGLY!

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  3. Bill - not picking on you, but really, this list is rediculous. I guess you are illustrating why contemporary media is so F*****g lame, particularly the tease for cars that are hardly sinister or mean. Mazda will sell thousands of the 3 series. Its not mean. LA Times is going down the tubes anyway. Their auto writers are bland idiots. I should know, I live here. Brian.

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